IF this column finishes mid-sentence, I apologise- I’ve most likely had to race an uncomfortable woman in pain to a medical facility.
We are officially in “go to launch” mode. At 39 weeks, it could be any day now.
Mrs Reggie has cleared out her work desk, sent the customary “this e-mail address will no longer be operational” message and managed to swipe a considerable amount of stationery.
There aren’t really any shortcuts to the hospital. It’s probably not the time to be detouring past the motorbike shop to see what’s new on the floor or dropping back those two library books due yesterday.
Mrs Reggie has the gear ready to go. I have been shown three bags: one containing her clothes, one containing baby clothes and a nappy bag which one would assume contains nappies.
Oh, and I’m meant to grab the hair dryer as well, lest Vogue or Vanity Fair happen to want to feature Mrs Reggie in their pregnancy editions I guess.
I have been warned that I may need a spare set of clothes as well.
Wouldn’t it be great if the baby’s first image of its father included a Batman outfit?
A “to call” list has also been created, outlining who I need to ring once the offspring springs forth.
It has been carefully constructed and categorised into those who need to know by phone and those whom we can send a text message to.
Regular readers might recall an earlier column declaring I would avoid informing people via text but I have been advised I will have more on my mind and little time to ring around 85 contacts. Keeping the phone charger handy might be a good idea.
The names on the list have been ordered according to who should be told first and those we know won’t be able to keep a secret.
It seems I’ve managed to finish this without running any red lights.
What will next week bring? Stay tuned.
Name of the Week: @ (pronounced: “pi at”)
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